Attract A Frugal Mate By Being A Big Spender

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Tired of saving every penny you can find only to have your spouse go out and blow it? Well it’s time to point the finger away from them and back onto yourself. You were the fool that married them.

And you aren’t alone. As it turns out, the fact that your spouse spends money is what attracted you to them in the first place. Not following? Well “opposites attract” applies to spending and frugality as much as anything else.

This should come as no surprise to anyone really. We hear about these complaints all the time. You read in blogs about what tips you can use to get your spouse to cut spending or embrace the same PF lifestyle you’ve taken on. I applaud Reuters for reporting on this study and also not speculating further, offering opinions, or wasting your time with other nonsense. That’s what Weakonomics is for.

When asked what the perfect man/woman is most often respond looking for someone with a good personality or sense of humor and perhaps some nice abs and a pretty smile. I don’t want someone with a good personality; I want someone with a similar personality to my own. The Sheconomist and I match up pretty well there. And just like I want a matching personality I want someone with a matching financial philosophy. Again, I’ve got a good match.

We aren’t afraid of debt but we also have no desire to have more than the minimum necessary to get by. Our views on saving, investing, and shopping are also similar with the only difference being my opinions are a bit stronger if only from my financial background. This and this alone gives me enough confidence to know our marriage will be a long and happy one.

Which brings me to the point of this post. If we assume the study is accurate and acknowledge that most of us are attracted to our PF opposites we can link that to the high number of divorces being over money. Though the study doesn’t associate its data with any sort of divorce statistic, I believe that this does reinforce the importance of similar financial philosophies in a happy marriage. People with similar philosophies on money probably also have similar goals, meaning they’ll walk through life on the same path towards the same destination.

In just a short while my fiancé will be walking down the aisle to say her vows with me and mine to her. Though we won’t promise to honor, cherish, and save 15% towards retirement, it will be implied.

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5 Comments

Dave C.

Said,

July 29th, 2009 @10:49 am

Good point there Weakonomist. I think I finally realized something about myself, that every now and then it is good to just spend some money and appreciate what I can do with my hard earned cash.

I think recently, I’ve gone into super saver mode to counteract the years of being a super spender when I got out of college. Maybe in the near future I can find a better balance once my savings are at a level I feel is appropriate for my age.
Dave C.´s last blog ..What Are Warrants: Or Why Is Warren Buffet So Smart?

Rob Bennett

July 29th, 2009 @11:00 am

My wife and I have opposite money personalities. She is cautious and detail-oriented. I am a bit of a risk-taker and tend to focus on the big picture stuff.

There have been times when our differences have caused problems. There also have been times (more often) when our differences made a more compelling whole that either of us could have accomplished on our own (or than we could have accomplished together if we both had the same money personality).

Having differences need not be a bad thing. It’s how you deal with differences that makes them good or bad. Use the word “diversity” in place of the word “differences” and you might see the point. Diversity can be a plus. So can differences in money personalities.

Rob
Rob Bennett´s last blog ..Podcast #134 — Risk Without Risk

Leigh

July 29th, 2009 @12:46 pm

The fact that my fiance and I are going to get married in December is one of the things that finally made me get in gear. He doesn’t use credit cards, has money in the bank and is debt-free except for his mortgage. I have a little money in the bank, a huge student loan debt that I’ve been paying on for 10 years (thanks law school) and love to use credit cards although I do pay them off (mostly) every month.

We had a long talk about finances a couple of months ago and I decided that I wanted to get rid of any consumer debt before we get hitched. I’m about to make it through my first full month of not using my credit cards for anything and I’ve paid down my only credit card debt (0% interest until April) to just under 4K. I should be able to have it paid off in full by October or November.
Leigh´s last blog ..Shout out to Clif Bar

Julia

August 3rd, 2009 @1:13 pm

Rob Bennett is right; it’s how we deal with our differences that makes them good or bad. My fiance and I are not complete PF opposites. He is a big spender and I am fairly frugal, but neither of us has debt (except his very reasonable mortgage). We have already discussed the difference in our spending styles and he is willing to be more frugal now since our future expenses will only go up once we have kids and he has already started cutting back his spending! For my part, I am not planning to spend more, but I’ve promised myself that I won’t nag him into bringing his spending completely down to my level. It’s money he’s earned and he’s always lived within his means, and I respect this.