This is something I usually tweet about, which I did, but that’s usually the end of it. However a follower asked me to further explain why I hate Kiplinger Personal Finance so much. My beef with them goes back to my days in college, when I would read their articles in between classes at the school library. Even back then, before my very first finance classes, I thought it odd that a personal finance magazine would offer “stock tips”. To a 19 y/o that sounded so 90s. Now I just realize that it’s blatant BS.


This hatred isn’t specific to Kiplinger, but somehow their columns always find my attention the most. And this hatred isn’t directed towards Erin Burt, this story’s author; my anger is with the crappy old world media editors that approve these no substance pieces. Because my Twitter buddy forced me to organize my thoughts more I thought I’d just throw it all together here for you as well.

The article we have today is called “In Your 20s or 30s? The Recession Rocks!” It makes pretty standard arguments like:

  • The job market sucks, but young people have time to make up for that.
  • Stocks are cheap and it’s a good time to invest.
  • Houses are cheap and it’s a great time to buy.
  • Savings is cool, debt is now bad.

Wow, someone please grab me a Pulitzer. These are in fact all true statements. However they are shrouded in so much BS it’s insulting for anyone in this demographic to read.

Welcome to the World:

First of all let’s talk jobs. The national unemployment rate is 9.5%. However for people aged 20-24 (we’ll call them “recent graduates”) the unemployment rate is 15.2%, for than 50% higher than the national average. Those that are 25-34 are at 10.1%, still higher than the national average (Source: BLS Unemployment Situation June 2009, Page 17). Keep in mind this number excludes the “underemployed” which are people that might be working part-time but not enough to cover expenses. The numbers would be higher with that. You will be hard-pressed to find anyone who says the job losses have peaked. Just about everyone expects these numbers to increase. The rest of us that happen to be employed are living in fear of losing our jobs. As we search for stable jobs and worry about student loan payments, rent, and having our own kids the thought that we have time to make up for it in the future will bring us tons of comfort I’m sure.

In March we saw stocks hit a their lowest mark. Since then we’ve seen a huge return. If you were invested at the time this is great news. However so few of this demographic is invested that this doesn’t mean squat. I’m the exception. I’m employed and have saved vigorously since the age of 20, but I’m RARE! Of my best friends only one of them is in a position to invest like I have, and because he makes less than me and has student loans I’d be surprised if he’s saving even 5% of his income for retirement. It’s great that stocks are cheap right now, but it does little good when the reality of this demographic is very few of us are actually investing!

Housing. Sure there are many among us that could afford a house right now. That’s true. But you’ve got three types of people in this demographic. First are people that simply can’t get a home because their credit is in shards or don’t make enough money. Then you have people like me who might could get into a home right now but I could lose my job next week and then I’d be stuck with a mortgage. I would rather keep renting and if I lose my job I have the flexibility to ditch my current situation quickly for something else. Finally you have the people that already own homes. At best they’ve owned them for 10 years now, more than likely though they bought them sometime between 2004 and 2007. They are underwater or struggling to keep up with payments. Even if they were in good shape what is their incentive to move? The only reason would be to get a nicer home. But that requires selling their current digs in this market and potentially getting a larger payment; which no one wants because remember we’re all scared about our jobs. So it’s a great time to buy, but none of us can!

Savings rules! Debt drools! Do you know why Erin? Savings rules because we can’t access credit anymore. We are saving cash because we can’t use credit cards or the equity in our homes for quick cash anymore. As soon as credit loosens up again, we’ll go back to the old system. And of course this spits in the face of the article’s point. Erin points out that we can’t get credit anymore; well then how the heck are we supposed to get those homes you were talking about?

But don’t worry guys. Our fears about jobs are over! Kiplinger has SIX (count em!) whole companies that are hiring! Get ready for that house and Roth IRA because UPS hires 2,000 part-time package handlers monthly. Boo-ya! $10 an hour for 20 hours a week should be enough to impress your girlfriend’s father. And don’t worry, give your part-time loyalty for a year and you get health insurance too. Good for UPS for offering this, bad for Kiplinger for thinking this is fantastic for a 30-year old unemployed factory worker. And UPS isn’t alone in hiring, Starbucks needs baristas and “starting wages outpace the minimum wage”! Damn, sign me up. You’ll be buying homes, saving for retirement, and impressing recruiters with your milk-steaming skills in no time!

Silver Linings:

Perhaps column isn’t supposed to mean that things are good for everyone, but that there is a silver lining. That of course makes the headline “In Your 20s or 30s? The Recession Rocks!” misleading and deceptive to say the least, but who cares right? Well if that is the case then I’ve got some additional silver linings for your consideration:

  • The silver lining of WWII is America got Einstein.
  • The silver lining of the Great Depression is that we got better bank regulation.
  • The silver lining of slavery is that we had cheap crops.
  • The silver lining of Alzheimer’s is no one expects you to remember stuff.
  • The silver lining of mononucleosis is weight loss.
  • The silver lining of a stillbirth is no child to resent you in 16 years.
  • The silver lining of losing a child to a drunk driver is a new member to MADD and raised awareness.
  • The silver lining of divorce is now Timmy gets two Christmases.

Were you to say any of this to someone currently suffering from these situations you’d get yelled at, slapped, punched, or even killed in rage. I’m sure the 7 million Jews that died are pumped about relativity; people standing in food lines with no money are excited about FDIC insurance; slaves getting whipped were proud to keep costs down; a grandchild didn’t mind that even though he’s 20 y/o; grandma thinks he’s 12 one minute and 30 the next, the 15 y/o wasting away from mono is happy to lose her baby fat; a crying (almost) mother and father are thankful not to have that child to resent them; a middle-aged mom is celebrating her only son died for ‘the cause’; and Timmy will get twice the presents and half the love! These are things that only the most ignorant of people would ever say. Screw you Kiplinger, you insult every person affected by this recession with this article. And of course this is assuming it was a silver lining post instead of simply an idiot journalist with no grasp of how the world actually works.

Again, this is not a direct attack on Erin Burt. It’s a damn good job to write garbage for a huge audience and get paid for it. I’d gladly sell out for such a cushy job. I already write more than these people and no one is paying me to do it!

Seriously though my dog creates better crap than this three times a day. Read Kiplinger at your own risk, just take every word with a grain of salt the size of the heaping turd that it is.

Photo: BK and EP, crawfishpie

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  By 		The Weakonomist is the founder of Weakonomics. Clicking the picture of the puppy will tell you more about him. If you like what you're reading consider subscribing to the blog, following him on Twitter, and checking out the related posts below. Please consider a donation if you really enjoy Weakonomics. Also keep in mind that nothing I say can be construed as financial advice.

categories: economics, media, personal, personal finance