I loved “Bill Swerski’s Superfans” as a lad. They were a Saturday Night Live skit (6 minute video) featuring fat people from Chicago. Along with a thick mid-west accent and appetite for sausage, they were huge fans of Chicago sports. Notably, “Da’ Bulls and Da’ Bears”, but also the Cubs, White Sox and others including colleges. The did a song one time that I loved, and today its stuck in my head because of all the market turmoil going on. If you don’t know, the stock market is often referenced as the bulls and the bears, but for different reasons than Chicago’s sports teams.
So why do we reference the bulls and the bears when talking about the market? The bulls are for up markets and the bears are for down markets. Close your eyes (but keep reading) and imagine how a bull would attack you. Charging at speed, shoving his head into your gut and tossing you up in the air. Bull market = up market, the bull strikes up. Now imagine a bear is attacking you. He stands 7 feet in the air and reaches down with the claws to slice your face. Keywords there are up and down.
Thusly if I am bullish (not “bull-ish”) about the market, I expect things to go up. If I’m bearish (who isn’t these days?) I’m expecting the market to go down.
Now, I’d like to introduce you to my second new word: Cubbish
What does it mean to be Cubbish? It means you don’t have a damn clue and don’t care to. Its worse than being bearish or bullish. I am bullish in the long run, but it doesn’t mean I’m out actively trading every day to buy the right stocks or mutual funds. I can be bearish in the short term, but it doesn’t mean I’m shorting all the bank stocks. Bulls or bears at least have an idea what is going on, and have their investments set up in a way that makes the comfortable.
Contrary to the wild mammals, the cubs are ignorant babies. They’re 401(k) is half money market cash funds and half company stock. They don’t know any better, and don’t want to know better.
I don’t want every one of you to follow bank buyouts or the daily moves of the Dow like I do; but I do expect everyone to know how a mutual fund works, why we’re in the credit crunch, and the reason holding your retirement in company stock is a terrible idea. But you cubs out there are too busy with finding a man/lady, getting home to play WoW, taking pictures of yourself for Facebook/MySpace, pretending to understand politics, bitching about your job, dressing like an emo, sipping burnt coffee at Starbucks, reading Perez Hilton, voting for American Idols, arguing with your baby momma/daddy, shopping, or watching that waste of air and Vulcan women haircuts known as Nancy Grace to take an hour every month to think about your future.
If you can be classified as being cubbish, I have no sympathy for you when retirement comes around and you’re sitting on a $20,000 nest egg. You had a chance and you blew it. So please readers, stay informed, be a bull or a bear I don’t give a crap which. Just don’t be a cub.
If you’ll remember my last word: Hypotheory, you’ll notice a pattern with my new language. I’m creating words for the informed to use to describe the ignorant. Got any for me?
 By The Weakonomist |
The Weakonomist is the founder of Weakonomics. Clicking the picture of the puppy will tell you more about him. If you like what you're reading consider subscribing to the blog, following him on Twitter, and checking out the related posts below. Please consider a donation if you really enjoy Weakonomics. Also keep in mind that nothing I say can be construed as financial advice. |
