I received an email this weekend from Lolly.  Lolly, is a phisher, she wanted me to help her transfer some money out from Holland.  Feel free to send Lolly an email like I did.  Here’s my response:

Lolly!

Thanks so much for reaching out to me, I’m in the perfect position to help you out.

In order to help you out I’ll need a few things:

I work at a bank and need the name of the trust in Holland. The bank name is needed too. I can have our trust officers transfer the money by next week.

In order to get the ball rolling I’ll need you to wire me 20,000 euros, $12,000, 1,000,000 yen, a Russian wife, 5 used mismatching tires, the crown jewels, some nail clippers, 1 blueberry, a pirated Beta-Max version of Star Wars, 3 french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

I’d request your native pounds, but quite frankly, I hate your stupid currency.

Once I receive that initial deposit the trust officers will work with the bank in Holland to move the $20,000,000 (that’s odd that the number is so even in US dollars, but I already feel like I can trust you).

Once we’ve taken ownership of the trust we’ll move the $7,000,000 into a new trust and set up the other $13,000,000 to be transferred to you. I’ll need you to send me a bank account number for a bank in Geneva, with $400,000 US in the account already.

This will require another payment though:

1,000,000 Canadian loonies, the complete works of Shakespeare, a case of dutch beer (you pick which type), the German Prime Minister, the left middle finger of Winston Churchill, an autographed photo of Prince Harry, the blood of a virgin (type AB), and a cure for cancer (skin).

Obtaining these simple items should pose no challenge for you. You Europeans are so much smarter than us Americans.

Gee-Golly I’m so excited to help you, I can’t wait to make my millions and retire to some far off country like California, or South Dakota. Good luck on your end, I look forward to hearing from you!

Philip

PS: I hope you feel good ruining people’s lives. The entire world hates you. Lolly is a terrible name.

 

Original Message:

> Your urgent help is needed

> I am Lolly Stevens and I am from Wales, United Kingdom. I need your

trust

> and assistance to help my family and I stand as a beneficiary to claim a family consignment deposited in Holland, worth Twenty Million Dollars.

You

> shall have seven million dollars for your assistance Please write me

back

> through my private address lollystevens9@yahoo.com.hk I shall let you

know

> the next step. Have a nice day.

> Lolly Stevens

>

 

categories: personal, technology