No, I’m not talking about our corporate overlords, I’m talking about the actual clothes.  It started when I was a lad.  My parents made me wear a sport coat and tie to church.  This made me hate going to church because I had to wear an uncomfortable coat and tie.  Eventually they laxed on the policy.  By high school I was rocking a polo and khakis to church.

But as soon as I got home I would still rip off the clothes, untucking my shirt almost as soon as I cleared the door.  I’ve always been very laid back, not letting much get to me.  I went to a laid back college where even most professors didn’t dress up.  I’m not kidding when I say there were those at my graduation that did not wear any foot ware.  My dad is more of a classical professor, tie every day.  Thats fine, its his choice.  My favorite professor in college wore jeans and a t-shirt everyday, I can’t think of anyone smarter in finance than him (that I’ve met at least).

The laid back nature continued at my college job.  I learned a lot about business from a dress code of t-shirt and shorts.  The head guys wore nicer clothes, but denim was the pant of choice.  Most everyone was generally respected, and the environment was relaxed.  In my junior year though some cousins got married (not to eachother) and I ended up with a suit because of it.  I needed it for job interviews too, and possibly whatever job I ended up with.  My career choices are leading me down a path to suits and uncomfortable shoes.  For now its business casual, which I hate too, but thats another day.

So I hate suits because they’re uncomfortable and expensive, but that’s not really why I’m writing today.  Here are my other reasons to hate the suit, tie, and shoes combo:

History:
Think back to your history books.  Imagine the time when Washington cross the Delaware to save us from the evil people that spoke our language and thought red made for good camo.

What was he wearing?  That’s a complicated get-up he has on.  He might not have worn that outfit that day, but we do know this was fairly standard dress at the time.  Now jump ahead to 1850, things had calmed down a bit (but it looks like our feet shrank).  Calmed down only relative to Washington, can you imagine going to a backyard barbecue in that get up?  I’ll hold on the A1, thanks.  Now think about 1950, the suit was simpler still.  Finally coats went to the waist and hats fit our heads.  Still though, people wore suits to baseball games.  This time hold the mustard.  You get my drift that styles have relaxed over time.  I believe the future plans to destroy the suit, so I’m trying to hurry it along.

Women:
Seinfeld pointed this out to me.  Women dress us in suits because “they’re all the same so I guess we should dress them all the same”.  Women probably didn’t make the decision, but the suit is designed to have everyone dress the same.  Generic blacks, browns, and dark blues differentiated by one’s placement and number of buttons.  Exciting.  I suppose you could say we wear suits so we won’t be distracted by someone’s clothes when doing business, or a job interview.  To which I say, “1) Bow ties are very distracting, 2) Woman suits have a ton more variety, and 3) there has to be a simpler way to dress without distracting).”

Respect:
The suit buys respect.  You know when you see a guy with a nice suit thumbing a Blackberry he must be important to someone.  One job I interviewed for would have put me in that same suit and Blackberry, instead I’m wearing business casual.  I make more in this job than I would have in the Blackberry job.  But when you’re standing in line at the grocery store, and you see me in the polo and him in the suit, you’re going to respect that person more.  You don’t know it, because its in the subconscious.  Thats why the suit is so successful.  So he spends more on clothes, might make less, and takes his work home with him in a cell phone.  I shop at discount stores, might make more, and don’t have to take my work home because my company can’t afford pens, much less a Blackberry.  I went to school and got a great degree with good grades.  In the matters of business and intellect, I’ve earned respect, and I’m happy to prove it.  But because I don’t spend $500 or more on each outfit you respect the other guy who might be a commissioned insurance salesman.  He earned your respect with a tie.  You’re a pig.

Sales:
Regular readers know I have a beef with commissioned salespeople.  The suit is used as a way to cover up this fact, and it works.    The tie and collar really create an aura of professionalism when none is needed (or once again, earned).  Take bank tellers.  Without being sexist, most are women.  However the men in branches are wearing ties.  There is a pretty good chance you make more than the tellers, so does that assistant manager at Best Buy who reserved a Wii for you.  That assistant manager doesn’t wear a tie, so why should the teller?  What is wrong with a polo shirt with the company logo?  Its because of tradition, banks have always been this way.  Blah blah.  You know what banks have also always done?  Sell loans, that worked out great.  All I’m saying is tradition is no excuse.  If I was making $10/hour to be a teller, I don’t want to have to spend money on shirts and ties.  Give me the $10 polo please.  Thanks.

The battle with the suits has only just begun.  I’ll spend my life in this fight.  Unfortunately, I will lose it many times.  Given my career path, my next job might put me in the very suit and tie I hate so much.  Does that make me a sell-out?  Maybe.  But I must break down barriers from the inside.  Work my way into a leadership position where I decide the dress code.  That might mean starting my own company someday, thats fine too.  Rest assured faithful readers, if I one day run one of these banks, there will be no cherry wood desk, no ties, no jackets, and no dress shoes.  I’ll rock a company polo and flip-flops.  I can just hear the Men’s Warehouse lobby sending me death threats.

Stay tuned as I reveal my ratio of number of employees that wear suits to the number of bad decisions the bank has made.  Not really, but I’ll pretend there is a correlation.

By The Weakonomist

The Weakonomist is the founder of Weakonomics. Clicking the picture of the puppy will tell you more about him. If you like what you're reading consider subscribing to the blog, following him on Twitter, and checking out the related posts below. Please consider a donation if you really enjoy Weakonomics.

categories: banking, business, personal